Thanksgiving...

Oh how I love the holidays, especially Thanksgiving. So many things to be thankful for! I love this season of life that I am in and what God is doing in my heart!

Thanksgiving morning it is tradition for us to go deliver meals to those who are less fortunate than us. With my mom being a home health nurse and the with the people she takes care of, you can bet that she will do her best to make sure people are not without. This is something we have done since we were kids, and every year I see something worse than the year before that makes me feel so helpless and selfish all at the same time. And every year I come away with a greater love for people and a deeper passion to see not only this city, but our world changed.

As the day went on we had dinner and did family things as well as finished decorating for Christmas. As mom and I were organizing the chaos it brought back so many memories... Of what once was our typical American family of 4 and us being kids.... my amazing grandmother being the creative decorator that she was.... but also making new memories :)

My grandma has been a florist her entire life. Decorates everything for every occasion. We have had many laughs about her around the dinner table and sat back and watched as she did her thing time and time again. The little things we take for granted. This is the first year my Mema hasn't had any part in our Christmas decorating and it made me stand still in my tracks when my Mom uttered, "I wish Mom was well enough just to sit and watch us do what she loves to do".... It happened to be one of those moments I wanted to curl my skin inside out because it made me that sad.

For some reason, my entire life I felt as if my grandma would live forever. That she would walk through my life with me as she has the past 25 years. She definitely has been through the good, bad and ugly and is a walking example of what God's grace looks like. She is a true, faithful, strong woman of God. She's lived with and she's lived without. Never given up, doubted and has always trusted God. She's never held a grudge, never been unforgiving or understanding. She's smart, beautiful and precious in so many ways.... and so close to going to be with Jesus. I have to smile and just imagine what that day will be like for her because there is so many she loves who will greet her.... but so overwhelmingly distraught of the thought of her not being here for me to run to on those days... I use to call her when I was soo young to come get me from day care, I ran to her house when I was mad at my parents when I was in grade school, I escaped to her when I was in high school and having every issue a girl my age had, and even in college when I was confused at life and had my heart broke in a million pieces. She always had a way of telling me everything I needed to hear and a prayer to encourage me to keep going.

Now she can barely move, feed herself or smile. I miss her and she's not even gone. I wish I had of taken more time with her to cook, to go to her land and go fishing, wish I would have planted more flowers in her garden and tomato plants with her, and stayed awake a minute longer when she scratched my back, or decorated a million more Christmas trees, and had just a few more talks on her swing on her back patio.......

My Mema is what I am most thankful for....